What's the Worst Thing That Could Happen?
And how it made my dilemma go away.
I have a friend.
After graduating college in Australia, he made it big with a stable, high-pay job as a permanent resident (PR). For some — if not most — people in my country, it was a pipe dream. After all, they knew which place offers a better career prospect and quality of life.
But, at some point, my friend wanted to come home. And it would not be for a short visit, but one that meant giving up his hard-earned PR status and starting a business from scratch. Of course, many were enraged and clueless.
Why give up a good, stable life and return just to suffer?
He had a dilemma. Both options had their pros and cons, thus it was tough to confidently choose one without regretting it later. But, amid everything, his brother posed him a thought,
If you come home, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
💎 A kryptonite
In my relationship with time, Instagram has been a kryptonite. Once you fall into it, it is hard to climb out of the rabbit hole of Explore and seemingly endless Reels.
When there’s nothing important to get done the next day, it is extremely easy to spend the whole night scrolling. Pair it with YouTube and manga, and it will be the morning before I go to bed.
Looking back, Instagram has become where I seek shelter when running away from everyday life. It’s also one of the reasons why I couldn’t make Not Alone and other side hustles I have had, sustainable. You can’t have time for both 14 hours of daily screen time and work that truly matters.
Of course, I tried making it harder to access and stay, including:
Deleting the mobile app.
Using it only on my laptop.
Using it only every Sunday evening.
Turning on the grayscale filter on my phone.
Not saving my info, so I must sign in manually.
Letting an accountability partner change my password.
Though it is now harder than it was 2-3 years ago, it still isn’t enough. The few minutes of re-installing the app and logging in are nothing compared to the quick pleasures I could get for hours.
I just need to endure it. And *boom* the dopamine will be dopa-mine.
Damn.
📵 To leave or not to leave
Back in secondary school, I was able to stay away from Instagram for nearly a year. Permanently deleting my account — rather than the mobile app itself — was most likely why.
In fact, I did the same thing with Facebook. Two years ago, I was too caught up in its addictive nature and decided to get rid of it forever. To this date, I’ve never found myself missing the quick pleasures it once gave me.
So, that’s promising.
But, do I really want it? What about everything I’ve had since late 2018? What about the photos, the memories, the connectivity, and the online presence? Does it really worth it?
Truth be told, I thought of using Instagram to step up my creator’s journey, on top of Twitter. Hence, doing it with the current audience of 300+ feels easier than from scratch. It seems like a waste to throw everything away now.
↗️ If I choose to leave
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
🛣️ I will lose my work since 2018
Instagram is where I shared my journey in Trash Assemble, a Leo project to raise awareness on indiscriminate trash disposal. It was also where I did some tiny projects like Project Connect to catch up with friends during the pandemic and Project 0600 to wake up at 6 a.m. for 30 days.
🖼️ I will lose my stories and posts
But, I can always find ways to download them before I quit. No worries.
🫂 I will lose a way to connect with others
But, I haven’t been active here anyway. Everyone knows they can’t reach me here, and there’s always a better way to connect. Not a big problem.
💔 I will lose a place to share memories
This is debatable.
Should you put the highlights of your life on social media? Or rather, would you? would I? Is putting the best moments in my life out there an innocent act of sharing happiness, or narcissism?
And, hey, when was the last time I even did it?
✋ If I choose to stay
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Needless to say, Instagram will continue to be one of the places to waste my time on. As long as my current relationship with it remains constant, there’s always a risk of falling into a slump.
In fact, my latest rabbit-hole exploration happened a few days ago. It didn’t feel worthwhile to sacrifice sleep, health, time, relationship, and opportunities for Reels and the tiny likelihood of using Instagram as a creator.
Well,
If I stay, will I reach the point when I use it as a creator?
Will I when it’s still a no-brainer to waste time binge-scrolling here?
I think I’ve found my answer.
🔄 Really, again?
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
—Albert Einstein (probably)
Remember my first time deleting Instagram? It only lasted for a year. Though it wasn’t due to missing the quick pleasures from Reels and Explore, I gave in to the desire to connect with others via posting and engaging on the app.
After all, my secondary school life then was coming to an end.
Hence, it’s probably insane to expect quitting the app again will yield long-term success. Something different must be done.
So,
The next time I’m back, it’ll be as a creator, not a consumer.
Since being a creator on Twitter, I’ve found social media to be more meaningful for creating, rather than consuming. When you begin building stuff and sharing ideas, you start getting the most out of it.
Experience, skills, and meaningful relationships — those aren’t the things you could find scrolling Reels for hours and exploring the Explore rabbit hole.
Still, I may be wrong. But, like what my friend’s brother said to him,
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
I know that I’ve allowed myself to look into the worst-case scenarios of each option. Even if my path doesn’t turn up well, the worst thing that could happen — losing the work, connectivity, etc. — is the sacrifice I’m willing to make for a better life.
And yeah, this is my journey, but I'd love for you to be a part of it. Should I leave? Should I stay? Let me know what you think!
Have a cookie 🍪
—Thomas