On Writer's Block and Sleeping Well

A recent change in my relationship with sleep.

Since I got back to storytelling, five weeks have gone by.

I mean, FIVE WEEKS HAVE GONE BY! 🎉🎉🎉

So, to celebrate, let’s try something different.

This week, you get to read a snippet of an actual diary entry I wrote in the early morning of yesterday. I will only edit when it comes to privacy and legibility. I mean, it’s a personal diary it’s gonna look messy what more do you want you little piece of coconut be grateful

*cough*

Here we go.

✍ The diary entry

“Dear …,

Let’s begin with the activity that happened later in the day.

So, today is my writing day or — to be exact — the first day of my writing days. I have to make the last part clear because I tend to think that I must finish my writing in one day. Well, I managed to do that for the past 3-4 letters, but that doesn’t mean I can do it every time. There will be days when I struggle to write and need some rest before starting anew the next day.

It was around 3 p.m. after lunch with the gang and a short study session. I found myself doing the lazy (easy) tasks first as I somehow didn’t feel like getting started with writing. And even when I did, I couldn’t find the flow.

Here are a few reasons why:

🎵 I was listening to music on my in-ear monitor (IEM). I probably needed the bass which IEM doesn’t have. Even the cheap earphones felt better, but this factor is likely insignificant.

🙅‍♂️ The location I was at wasn’t suited for writing. It was an open space with people walking around. A guy was mumbling and pacing the room. Distractions.

⛔ I had writer’s block, surprisingly. I found it hard to include the element of self-deprecating again. Talking about my waste-man activities felt repetitive. It kinda sucks to talk about the same thing again.

🚽 I was holding my shit. #sorryrectum.

Even after coming back to my room, I still found it difficult to write something I was really satisfied with, though there were a few parts I was okay with. The first run (that’s what I call a draft) was tough to finish. I also tried working on another story but still stumbled upon the same obstacle.

Maybe I was too focused on running (drafting) perfectly.

I tried writing a bit after dinner, but it was roughly the same.

So, around 10 p.m., I gave in to the temptation to lessen the unpleasant feeling of writer’s block. I got in bed and binge-read the news on my phone, but I fell asleep before I could finish them. It was a nap of approximately 45 mins to an hour.

And I had insomnia until 3 a.m. because of it.

Damn.”

📉 A little trend I noticed

Recently, I’ve been thinking about how my sleep got this messed up. On days I chose to do work late into the night, I often found myself with burnout and revenge procrastination. After experiencing it a few times, I realized what was going on.

I wasn’t winding down properly at night.

You see, there’s nothing wrong with being productive. But, nighttime — when our energy levels and abilities to make wise decisions drop — is probably not a good time. Also, I discovered something.

On nights with revenge procrastination, I was making very little meaningful progress on the work I stayed up late to do.

Think about that for a bit.

How would you feel if — at the end of the day — you realized that you didn’t achieve much of the things you had planned to do?

How would you feel if you ended up making little to no meaningful progress, even though you spent hours at night doing the work?

Yes. Dissatisfaction.

And you know how hard it is to fall asleep until you’ve gotten rid of this feeling. That’s why — after a late-night work sprint — it’s so easy to just lie down comfortably in bed and stare at your phone screen without giving a flying flamingo 🦩 about anything.

After all, you know you can't sleep anyway.

🧪 What I am trying out

At this point, we both know,

1. It’s a bad idea to stay up late to do work.

2. It’s a great idea to have a wind-down routine.

3. Never hold a poop.

Truth be told, I always had a routine like that. But, for a long while, it was stored in my brain which required me to actively think about what the next step was. By James Clear’s First and Third Laws of Behavior Change — (1) Make It Obvious and (3) Make It Easy, it was a terrible mistake.

So, I built a checklist.

1. Reset my workspace to the default state.

2. Off the lights; On the bedside lamp.

3. Start a relaxing music playlist.

4. Refill water bottles.

5. Defecate. *cough*

6. Take a shower.

7. Brush teeth.

8. Journal.

9. Read.

I believe the first thing that pops up in your mind is 👇

Why do you need a checklist to tell you to poop?

I get it.

Some activities are no-brainers to do before bed. But, there are also tiny acts that help me to relax. If I don’t organize them in a checklist, I won’t know exactly what to do — it’ll be too vague, hence too much friction to even wind down.

That’s bad news if you’re feeling terrible late at night, be it due to burnout or something else. When faced with two options — sleep or play with your phone, you will want to pick something you won’t regret the next day.

And I believe, no matter how bad you feel, you don’t want to sacrifice sleep for hours of stupid cat videos on YouTube.

Have a good night 🌌 

—Thomas

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🥇 Weekly Gold

Each week, I share one thing I found interesting with you. It could be a song, a book, a quote, or a YouTube video that blew my mind.

Here’s the gold this week 👇

This is usually the first song I listen to in my wind-down ritual.

When I turn off the ceiling lights and leave the tiny bedside lamp on, listening to this tells me that it’s time to relax and enjoy the slow, peaceful night.

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Credit: Cover photo by Becca Schultz on Unsplash